I'm sick of the lifestyle I lead. I hate that I am still friends with past girlfriends. I hate that I want to see them every so often. It's a waste of time. I broke up with them for a reason, why am I wasting my fucking time seeing them?
I hate falling to the pressures of my phallic mind. I haven't had sex in ages. Literally ages.
For what reason? For the simple fact that I made a promise to an ex girlfriend and feel too guilty to break the promise of 'not fucking a girl unless I love her.'
How homosexual is that? I still end up hooking up with girls, why can't I give myself the pleasure of feeling complete and whole for a mere 11 minutes inside a girl?
Fuck.
Fuck.
FUCK!
I don't want to see any ex-girlfriend ever again. I don't want to see any girl I have ever spent time with; except one. I wish I could forget about them. I want to move on with my life. I want to, really fucking bad.
I want to stop smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day. That's disgusting. I am sick of smelling like smoke. I am sick of smoking.
I want to finally go to school for English in a school far away from my house. I want more than anything to find myself. I feel dis-attached lately. I frequently get headaches.
I want to shave my head.
I want to grow out my hair.
Fin.
1 comment:
dude, yea.
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